Racist Celebs and Bullshit Apologies

A Virginia senatorial candidate, apparently put off by the appearance of a young Indian man videotaping his appearance for his opponent, singles him out in front of the nearly all-white audience of his campaign event. He calls the young man a word generally known to be synonymous with "monkey," and genially welcomes the young man, a US citizen, to America.

An aging movie hearthrob and director gets caught driving drunk one night. With no apparent provocation, this actor launches into an ugly, anti-semitic rant, accusing Jewish people of starting all the wars in the world. He also says a female deputy has "sugar tits," whatever those are.

A comic, about ten years past his most popular and successful series, is performing in an LA comedy club. Heckled by some young African American men, he flies off the handle completely, repeatedly calling the young men "niggers," and waxing nostalgic for a day when Black men would be lynched for such affrontery.

And I tell myself, this is the 21st Century.

I have met these racial incidents with an ascending scale of anger. The George Allen incident was ugly, but, forgive me, I was vaguely amused. Not by what Allen said, but with the thought, "oh, this moron is done." And I'd like to thank the voters of the Commonwealth of Virginia for making that come true. The Mel Gibson outburst came as no surprise. I would wager that backslapping asshole has performing variations of this routine for years to various sympathetic or sycophantic audiences. He just finally ran up against someone willing to blow the whistle on him. But I find myself truly angered and surprised, at the racist venom of Michael Richards, formerly "Kramer," of the Seinfeld show.

The saying goes, it's not what you say, but how you say it. That is why it is especially instructive to see the videotape of Richards' meltdown (go to TMZ.com and take a look). This was no case of someone, I don't know, slipping up on the word, "snicker." This was an angry, bitter tirade intended to totally dehumanize the two men who heckled him. This was no misstep. And it was no "performance art piece," as some apologists have suggested. It was the act of a showbiz has-been with no facility for stand-up saying what he wanted because he thought he could get away with it. Because he didn't think it would get out.

But it did. What I find as vexing as these repeated affronts by celebrities is the pantomime of apology that takes place thereafter. In Richards' case, there was a Jerry Seinfeld-initiated appearance on David Letterman's show Monday. Presumably, Seinfeld coerced his old co-star on the air to shore up the DVD sales of the not-always-racially-sensitive series' 7th season. Richards stumbled uncomfortably through his mea culpa, making pro forma denials of being racist, and offering apologies to "Afro-Americans." Um... whoops. A couple decades late with that one, Kramer.

When (sigh) Revs. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton weighed in with their protests, Richards apologized to them, too, apparently as representatives of all "Afro-Americans." I don't know where White folks get the idea that Sharpton and Jackson speak for all Black people. Probably from Sharpton and Jackson.

Either way, apology definitely NOT accepted. You said what you meant the first time, Kramer. You too, Mel. You three, George. Even a turd like Vincent Gallo has the courage of his racist convictions. But you're going to notice the difference between yourself and your comrades soon, Mike. George Allen was allowed to maintain a measure of dignity because he was an incumbent senator from a red state. At least he was til election day. Mel Gibson was let off the hook after tea and sympathy with Diane Sawyer, largely because he's got something to sell: another orgy of bloody violence and dead languages. What have you got to sell, Mike? What have you done for us lately?

Such is the fate of the once-famous sitcom star. One day, everyone is quoting you around the water cooler. The next, you are sealing your fate as being unemployable, at least for the next 18 months. A cautionary tale for us all, but for Matt LeBlanc, especially. Don't try stand-up, no matter how rough it gets, Matt. It'll only end badly.

Trying Not to Gloat

Have you ever experienced the feeling of drowning before? Yeah, me neither, but I imagine. The tightness in your chest, the dizziness as the oxygen leaves your brain, the feeling of helplessness. Pretty much how I've felt since George W. Bush has been in office.

But this week, I got thrown a life preserver. The American voter, finally fed up with the ill-conceived, endless Iraq War, made a change. They turned over control of both houses of Congress to the Democrats. They also gave the majority of statehouses in this country to Democratic governors. They gave the hubristic, petulant President his most decisive defeat outside of the Persian Gulf. And I couldn't be happier.

It's hard not to feel a little annoyed, though. Did these people get a late pass? Didn't they see that we went to war on skewed intelligence and total bullshit? That there were no WMDs? That there was no contingency provided if the Iraqis didn't lay palm fronds at our soldiers' feet? That Bush and his cronies have damaged our admittedly shaky standing as a moral force in the world, with their raging hard-ons for torture and illegal spying?
Shouldn't this have been done TWO FREAKIN' YEARS AGO?

Yeah, but I guess it took that long for the electorate to see through Bush's manipulation of fear and combination of utter cluelessness and arrogance in Iraq before it sunk in. That combined with the Katrina fiasco of a year ago, and the unending scandals on the Hill, to send voters into the arms of Democrats, who collectively seem vaguely confused at their good fortune.

But it all plays into a theory that I have about America. It may seem naive, but hear me out: America is not as right-wing as it has been told it is. Deep down, when allowed to think rationally, when not blinded by ignorance and fear, Americans might just make the correct (not RIGHT) choice. Though they think they want a government run by the Right, when they get one, and things go too far, things finally get brought back around.

Think about a few years ago, when Newt Gingrich and his cronies engineered their "Contract with America," their plan to change the country on their terms, and keep it there. Ultimately, the hypocrisy and presumption of these guys led America to say, "no, thanks." The only time we see Gingrich these days, outside of Fox News, is when he's got some new shitty book to promote.

So this pendulum has swung the Democrats' way, but I don't want too be too optimistic. Heaven forbid. Because it could swing back to the right in two years. The Democrats need to learn from the lessons of those years in the wilderness and not keep making the same mistakes. And hey, Bush still has the Supeme Court on lock. That, besides Iraq and Katrina, will be the lasting legacy of his presidency.

But let's think positively for now, and say goodbye to some people that may have left our lives for good this week. George Allen, Rick Santorum, Robert Ehrlich, Donald Rumsfeld, so many others... SO LONG, SUCKERS!!

Waiting for the Great Leap Forward...

I really should blog more. But I've got an excuse. Often, I've been moved enough by a subject to want to write about it. But in the time it takes me to collect my thoughts to write something coherent here, I either lose the spark, or the subject cools down in the public mind and I say forget it. That's why I've yet to publish my personal examination of ex-DC Mayor Marion Barry, or my thoughts on why so many hip-hop CDs this year are coming up short, sales-wise.

But here, a week away from a midterm election that I hope will bring sweeping change to this country, I want to weigh in again on the elections in my area. First of all, I'll be so glad when it's all over. When every commercial break on television brings a new, numbing round of "he said, he said," political discourse means less and less, and relentlessness of it all makes you want to drive a nail through your head. Or someone's.

Anyway, here are some of the political issues that have come up in the past day or so that are irritating me:

-JOHN KERRY AND HIS BIG MOUTH The last man to run for President as a Democrat shot off hios mouth yesterday. In front of an audience of California college students. Essentially, he told them to study, mind their grades, or they could end up "stuck in Iraq." "NO, HE DID-UNT," said Republicans.

Seeing an opening to perhaps fend off the expected dismal failure next Tuesday, the GOP jumped on with both feet and roughed up Kerry. I thought this was a one day story, but they're trying to get all they can from this, and the media is cooperating, of course. Kerry is calling the statement a botched joke and apologized. I believe him. Because if he had simply said, "stuck in Iraq, like George Bush," there'd have been no story.

I have one piece of news for Republicans who want to make too much of this: NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT JOHN KERRY IN 2006. The failed Presidential candidate we all love now is Al Gore. But you know they'll ignore this advice. Already I heard some dickhead "political consultant" named Mark Rozell on the local news stating that Kerry's statements could help Republicans because, as their last failed Presidential candidate, he's seen as the "leader of his party." By whom? Dickhead, no one considered Kerry the leader of the Democrats in 2004, and certainly not now. Let it die, GOP. You look desperate.

-MICHAEL STEELE THE HAND PUPPET Let me take some time to show some un-love to my man Steele again. Faced with dismal polls, hammered for his false claims of "independence" from unpopular Republican positions, MD Lt. Governor Michael Steele has an explanation for why he has never broken ranks with Governor Bob Ehrlich: job loyalty. Basically, Steele has said that he has not asserted himself since taking office because he has not wanted to break with Ehrlich, whom he considers his "boss." If elected to the Senate, he says, he will break his record of lock-step party loyalty and be his own man.

This smacks of pure horseshit. Given this line of logic, Mike, you would never go against party leadership or the President because, technically, as a freshman Senator, they'd be your bosses, too. Wow, that was too easy. Give me a little something to work with.

And for Wayne Curry and the other aggrieved African American Democrats who have abandoned their party's nominee to support Steele, I understand where you're coming from. Maryland's Democratic Party leadership does take Black folks for granted. But Steele ain't the horse to bet on, guys. Look into a third party. And hey, Wayne, your support did Rushern Baker a hell of a lot of good, didn't it?

-BODY-SLAMMED IN VIRGINIA I want to say something profound about the journalist/blogger who got physically assaulted yesterday when he asked VA Senator George Allen whether he ever spit on his first wife. But frankly, I'm laughing too hard. The guy's pressing assault charges, and he'll probably sue. Good for him. At least, he didn't get called "macaca."

I think this race, more than any other local one, has me throwing up my hands. Jim Webb, the Democratic challenger, said some really sexist crap during Tailhook years ago. He writes books with nasty sex scenes. George Allen is a crypto-racist, who hits Bush-esque notes for cluelessness. And these guys won't stop slinging mud.

I have no stake in VA politics, but I do want Allen to lose this close race. But win or lose, I believe that any talk about George Allen for the Presidency is over now. If anyone out there is as sick of his disingenuous smile and dimwitted squint as I am, he'll be through in a few years, if not Tuesday.

That's my take, as of November 1st. All I'll say to conclude is, get out and vote Tuesday. Unless you're Republican. Just kidding. Not really.