Black Republican Folly... uh, Follies

"I know what you're thinking. I know what you're feeling," the man says. His tone is jovial. His body language is informal. The background music is jaunty. He's sitting in a set with a blank white background, and he tells us what we're thinking and feeling and what he plans to do to help us get what we want. But despite the fact that this TV commercial looks like a promo for a new talk show, what this guy is selling isn't celebrity interviews or cooking segments. It's himself, a candidate for Senate, Republican Michael Steele.

For anyone who doesn't live in Maryland, or the Greater Metropolitan DC area, you have my sympathies, because you missing the dawn of a new era in ridiculous political advertising. MD Lieutenant Governor Michael Steele, whom I think is the highest elected Black Republican in America, in his first campaign for the US Senate, has created a campaign ad that reflects not on his record (such as it is), or any specific program he is proposing. Instead, he advances an ad that makes him look like the next freakin' Montel Williams.

Don't get me wrong, though. I appreciate Steele's urge to do something different. Commercial breaks loaded with "I approve this message" ads full of White guys throwing charges and making promises makes waiting for your show to come back on even more excruciating than it normally is. And frankly, after seeing Steele's generally cool-headed appearances as the Token Conservative on Bill Maher's Real Time panel a couple of times, I'd rather vote for him as Talk Show Host than Senator.

But Steele's point gets deducted for a couple reasons: 1) He didn't have much choice. As a Republican running for a Democratic seat in a "blue state," he stands at a definite disadvantage, and needs to do something different to stand out; 2) The ad has zero substance. Given that Steele and his partner, Gov. Bob Ehrlich, don't have much of a record to run on (besides slot machines and suburban sprawl), beyond his promise to say "what's wrong about both parties," he doesn't say just what the hell he plans to do for any of us.

Maybe this has something to do with Michael Steele's status as the most high-profile Black Republican in a time when Republicans in general are taking a well-deserved beating. Frankly, this commercial is one of the few times that I have seen Steele and he isn't groaning about how hard it is for him to be a Black Republican. Black people hate him, they throw Oreos at him, wah wah waah! It's funny that a constant complaint that conservatives have about minorities is that we supposedly cling to a victim's mindset regarding past inequities. And here's their main man, sounding like a victim all the time.

Anyway, good luck with your campaign, Mr. Steele. But not too much. It's not like I want you to win, or anything. But if your political ambitions don't play out, go for that talk show. You don't appear to be an annoying scold like Armstrong Williams or Larry Elder. Yet. And while you're not as good-looking as Tyra Banks, you do have Megan Mullaly beat.