Racist Celebs and Bullshit Apologies

A Virginia senatorial candidate, apparently put off by the appearance of a young Indian man videotaping his appearance for his opponent, singles him out in front of the nearly all-white audience of his campaign event. He calls the young man a word generally known to be synonymous with "monkey," and genially welcomes the young man, a US citizen, to America.

An aging movie hearthrob and director gets caught driving drunk one night. With no apparent provocation, this actor launches into an ugly, anti-semitic rant, accusing Jewish people of starting all the wars in the world. He also says a female deputy has "sugar tits," whatever those are.

A comic, about ten years past his most popular and successful series, is performing in an LA comedy club. Heckled by some young African American men, he flies off the handle completely, repeatedly calling the young men "niggers," and waxing nostalgic for a day when Black men would be lynched for such affrontery.

And I tell myself, this is the 21st Century.

I have met these racial incidents with an ascending scale of anger. The George Allen incident was ugly, but, forgive me, I was vaguely amused. Not by what Allen said, but with the thought, "oh, this moron is done." And I'd like to thank the voters of the Commonwealth of Virginia for making that come true. The Mel Gibson outburst came as no surprise. I would wager that backslapping asshole has performing variations of this routine for years to various sympathetic or sycophantic audiences. He just finally ran up against someone willing to blow the whistle on him. But I find myself truly angered and surprised, at the racist venom of Michael Richards, formerly "Kramer," of the Seinfeld show.

The saying goes, it's not what you say, but how you say it. That is why it is especially instructive to see the videotape of Richards' meltdown (go to TMZ.com and take a look). This was no case of someone, I don't know, slipping up on the word, "snicker." This was an angry, bitter tirade intended to totally dehumanize the two men who heckled him. This was no misstep. And it was no "performance art piece," as some apologists have suggested. It was the act of a showbiz has-been with no facility for stand-up saying what he wanted because he thought he could get away with it. Because he didn't think it would get out.

But it did. What I find as vexing as these repeated affronts by celebrities is the pantomime of apology that takes place thereafter. In Richards' case, there was a Jerry Seinfeld-initiated appearance on David Letterman's show Monday. Presumably, Seinfeld coerced his old co-star on the air to shore up the DVD sales of the not-always-racially-sensitive series' 7th season. Richards stumbled uncomfortably through his mea culpa, making pro forma denials of being racist, and offering apologies to "Afro-Americans." Um... whoops. A couple decades late with that one, Kramer.

When (sigh) Revs. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton weighed in with their protests, Richards apologized to them, too, apparently as representatives of all "Afro-Americans." I don't know where White folks get the idea that Sharpton and Jackson speak for all Black people. Probably from Sharpton and Jackson.

Either way, apology definitely NOT accepted. You said what you meant the first time, Kramer. You too, Mel. You three, George. Even a turd like Vincent Gallo has the courage of his racist convictions. But you're going to notice the difference between yourself and your comrades soon, Mike. George Allen was allowed to maintain a measure of dignity because he was an incumbent senator from a red state. At least he was til election day. Mel Gibson was let off the hook after tea and sympathy with Diane Sawyer, largely because he's got something to sell: another orgy of bloody violence and dead languages. What have you got to sell, Mike? What have you done for us lately?

Such is the fate of the once-famous sitcom star. One day, everyone is quoting you around the water cooler. The next, you are sealing your fate as being unemployable, at least for the next 18 months. A cautionary tale for us all, but for Matt LeBlanc, especially. Don't try stand-up, no matter how rough it gets, Matt. It'll only end badly.