Oil, Oil, Oil...

There is a generally voiced myth, usually used to justify the speaker's political apathy, that both Democrats and Republicans are "just the same," meaning equally corrupt and mendacious. And though members from both parties share a passion for insincere rhetoric, lobbyist favors, and pork, I have to disagree with that statement. Because for all their similarities, both parties' appeal to their constituencies is different.

The Democrats' appeal is, classically, pro-social. They want to see poor people taken care of. They mean to ensure that women continue to maintain their own reproductive rights. They need to support the interests of the individual against the corporation. Don't get me wrong. Despite my lifelong affiliation, I'm not saying this to unduly praise the Democrats. Too many years of unsuccessfully aping Republicans has eroded a lot of their core values. But the spectre of someone like FDR is too long to ever dismiss completely.

The GOP's appeal is more self-based. Put yourself, your group and your country first. Anybody who can't follow deserves to be left behind. Believe as I do, or forfeit your right to be heard. And this appeal has been used to advance candidates and their agendas since Ronald Reagan. Republicans, to be successful, have appealed to the worst aspects of Americans' natures, and won, more often than not, by hammering on two of the major vices of human society: Fear and Greed. Republicans repeatedly get elected by translating their constituents' fears about crime into a fear of Blacks, or their economic fears into a fear of underpaid, undocumented Latinos. And greed is even simpler: Tax cuts all around, and the deficit be damned!

All of this becomes important in the consideration of Senate Republicans' plan to relieve the American Public's woes with ever-escalating gas prices. With the price of a gallon of regular now over $3 in most of the country, and no end of increases in sight, Majority Leader Bill Frist and Co. have suggested a $100 rebate to all Americans to "give consumers some relief." And what do we have to give up to get this incredible largesse from our government? Why, just the entire Alaskan wildlife refuge, that's all!

I don't know what's more insulting, that Frist and his cronies think that we can be bought, or that we could be bought so cheaply. He believes that we will sign over the rights to this property, and the well-being of the animals therein, for the price of a fill-up and top-off for our gas-guzzling SUVs. The Alaskan refuge is a big score for the GOP. Even bigger than swinging the whole Supreme Court to the right, mainly because there's money to be made. That's why they won't leave it alone. And it MAY be why the oil companies put the screws to us every few months. Think about it.

Of course, they aren't wrong to try to buy us out. They've done it before. Remember Bush's $300 tax rebate a few years ago? To bolster the American economy? I spent mine in Mexico. Fear and greed, fear and greed. The silver lining here is the slooowww, gradual dawning consciousness of the Greater American Public that Bush and the GOP MAY not have their best interests in mind. I know. It's a little late. But you know what? Given Bush's pig-headed intransigence on every-friggin'-thing and blatant jack-moves like this from Congressional Republicans, low approval ratings could get lower. But, in the meantime... Sorry, Bill. Spin again.

Coming Up Short

Has anyone seen the trailer for the upcoming movie by the Wayans Brothers? It's evidently called Little Man, and I saw the trailer before Dave Chappelle's Block Party recently, and I had to remind myself that I've never taken acid before, because it damn sure felt like I was having a flashback.

As near as I can figure it, Marlon Wayans is, through some abominable CGI effects, playing a midget who is a "master thief." Through stupid movie contrivances, he manages to steal a valuable jewel, and then lose it. To get it back, he dresses himself up as a baby (!) and infiltrates the home of a childless married couple, one of whom is played by Shawn Wayans. The inevitable jokes about diaper changing, breast feeding, and penis size follow. Hee-freakin'-hee.

Is it too much to hope we had outgrown this? At this point, brother Keenen, the director of this project, has decades of experience and dues paid in Hollywood. Marlon displayed credible dramatic chops in Darren Aronofsky's indie cult shocker, Requiem For a Dream. And Shawn? Um, uh... He's not a bad looking guy, I guess. But in a showbiz climate where the merging of the WB and UPN will most likely mean umemployment for a lot of Black comedy writers (See the article in the April 7th issue of Entertainment Weekly), I need to ask the question.

Sure, the broad, tasteless comedy is a Hollywood staple. And it keeps talent-free comics like David Spade and Rob Schneider employed and off the street. Even at its most potent, the Wayans Bros.' In Living Color trafficked in its share of lowbrow humor. But the brow keeps getting lower. As hideous as it looked, their last movie, White Girls, at least offered opportunities for some social satire (Did it have any? Let me know. I, uh, never saw it.). For this movie, I just don't see it.

There is an actor named Peter Dinklage. He's about four feet and some change tall, but he has kept his career thankfully free of the stereotypical roles that little people mostly get offered. A few years ago, he starred in a great movie called the Station Agent, in which his physical status was barely even referred to. Dinklage seems like a smart, self-aware, and funny guy. I think a commentary from him for Little Man might probably be funnier than the movie itself.