Praying for her downfall...

I realize that tearing down Paris Hilton is one of the skinny, knock-kneed legs upon which the internet is built, but I have been reluctant to put this blog on the anti-Paris bandwagon. Do I hate her? Yes, as all right-thinking people should. Her narrow, scantily-clad, contraceptive- patched ass showing up for everything short of the opening of a can of pork and beans, smiling her same smug little smile and dragging along this week's Greek Shipping Wastrel, you're left wondering, how long can this bullshit go on?

Well, I'd like to think that the end is finally starting to begin. This month, Ms. Hilton is facing two slander and harrassment lawsuits that appear to reveal as much about her character as a casual racist comment on caught on video. In one, a promoter is charging that Hilton harrassed and bad-mouthed him in the media, and threatened his life (?). In the other, the one I'm loving, she is sued for $10 million by Zeta Graff, ex-girlfriend of former fiance' Paris Latsis. She charges Hilton of spreading "vicious lies" about her, specifically concerning an alleged physical attack during which Graff supposedly choked Hilton and tried to steal a diamond necklace of hers.

An attack like that would be pretty frightening, huh? But for the fact that it probably NEVER HAPPENED. Hilton's former publicist has testified in a deposition that he was ordered to plant the story of the fake attack in the New York Post. Um... awwk-warrd.

Strange for someone who never graduated, but Paris Hilton is the most flagrant example of someone bringing high school behavior into supposedly adult life. The world is her cafeteria table, where she holds court with her sycophants and fellow mean girls. She ostracizes former girlfriends ("We're not talking to Nicole anymore."), passes around boyfriends (in her world, I guess Greek shipping scions are analogous to the football team), and uses the Post rather than folded-up notes to spread her nasty rumors. She hasn't gotten around to jumping girls after gym class yet.

Funny as it seems, for someone who has shown no discernible talent or skill, Paris Hilton is the major breadwinner of her immediate family. Which is to say, she isn't totally dependent on the Hilton Family Trough for her survival. However, if she continues to stack up lawsuits as pointless as these, she'll be as subject to the kindness of stockholders as her parents. And maybe then she'll either smarten up or get out of our lives forever.

I know, highly unlikely. I can hope, can't I? Anyway, anybody with a blog has a right to shovel dirt on Paris Hilton, right? Here's mine.